A bond made this was is instantaneous. One moment, she was alone in her mind, the next there are three distinct presences. Her own, in the centre, but flanking her mind is now the raging, angry, sorrowful white whirlwind that belongs to the Vala, and the other a raging storm of shame, of intense betrayal and dirtiness, but not reasoning behind it -- hidden from the other two minds.
Kept separate. Intentionally separate.
But below these two thundering presences is the sense that they are apart. Unnaturally apart. Spirits tinged with each other's colours, mental presences reaching with desperate fingers, two lovers with a chasm between them that they do not know how to cross or how to even look at without having what little remains untouched shatter.
He looks into her eyes, his own dark clouds of sapphire rolling and crashing, full of so much pain.
"Do you see, Mary Anne?" The words are not only spoken, but they ring in her head. "Do you see? To be as close as any two can ever be and then walk into that without even the slightest idea? Now... look..."
From a spirit of lavender and blues is a broken, unending scream of loss and hurt and lack of understanding and violent jealousy, all born from a well of endless, unconditional, worshipful love that is pure and good and right -- something very few ever felt directed at them. It is the love of a god for one of his children, one of his subjects, one of those he guided and loved, but it is also the love of a man for a man, a heart for a heart, something that transcends all else but adoration and self-sacrifice.
Yet, the tarnished silver spirit that had hidden from the lavender one exudes nothing but a sense of being dirty. Used. Lost. Frightened. The missing of a great love, but also thinking that the love had betrayed him by leaving him behind. Betrayal over and over. As if all he could be was soiled, a traitor who can never bring any good to anything he touched.
"How... can I compete... with a love that remains in his mind... even when I walk out... on him? He left me... and I worried... loved... thought about him..." he says, panting between his words as he doesn't look away from her. "How can I ever have anything... from him... but the pains he... still carries? The pains he... welcomes?"
no subject
Hand in her hair.
Contact made it easier with someone new.
A bond made this was is instantaneous. One moment, she was alone in her mind, the next there are three distinct presences. Her own, in the centre, but flanking her mind is now the raging, angry, sorrowful white whirlwind that belongs to the Vala, and the other a raging storm of shame, of intense betrayal and dirtiness, but not reasoning behind it -- hidden from the other two minds.
Kept separate. Intentionally separate.
But below these two thundering presences is the sense that they are apart. Unnaturally apart. Spirits tinged with each other's colours, mental presences reaching with desperate fingers, two lovers with a chasm between them that they do not know how to cross or how to even look at without having what little remains untouched shatter.
He looks into her eyes, his own dark clouds of sapphire rolling and crashing, full of so much pain.
"Do you see, Mary Anne?" The words are not only spoken, but they ring in her head. "Do you see? To be as close as any two can ever be and then walk into that without even the slightest idea? Now... look..."
From a spirit of lavender and blues is a broken, unending scream of loss and hurt and lack of understanding and violent jealousy, all born from a well of endless, unconditional, worshipful love that is pure and good and right -- something very few ever felt directed at them. It is the love of a god for one of his children, one of his subjects, one of those he guided and loved, but it is also the love of a man for a man, a heart for a heart, something that transcends all else but adoration and self-sacrifice.
Yet, the tarnished silver spirit that had hidden from the lavender one exudes nothing but a sense of being dirty. Used. Lost. Frightened. The missing of a great love, but also thinking that the love had betrayed him by leaving him behind. Betrayal over and over. As if all he could be was soiled, a traitor who can never bring any good to anything he touched.
"How... can I compete... with a love that remains in his mind... even when I walk out... on him? He left me... and I worried... loved... thought about him..." he says, panting between his words as he doesn't look away from her. "How can I ever have anything... from him... but the pains he... still carries? The pains he... welcomes?"