(no subject)

[song_tra_bong]

When she gets back to her room, it’s scarcely morning. She is tired and bruised, but she is better, if not well.
t
So then why can’t she let it go?
e
He said something to her, before he left—words pressed into whisper pressed into flesh. She knows it was important.
a
Damned if she can figure out what it was, though.
m
She sighs, knowing if she tries to go to bed, she’ll only lie awake wondering. Best to get this out of her system now.
o
recreate the circumstances as much as you can
t
She stands in the middle of her room, hands at her side and eyes closed.
e
lips on the back of her neck
a
letters
m
words
o
what did he say?
t
string it together--what did he say?
e
words--how many--one, two?
a
two
m
two
o
not enough for--so then what?
t
lips on skin on skin on words on skin what would he say like that not to your face but your back to your skin what would he could he say like that
e
te
a
odi et amo and I hate and I no and I know and what in hell could he have said it is important you must remember the pattern of lips as if you could ever forget when he touches you fire in your veins in your brain in your heart--
m
beat
o
heart

break

amo

te amo

enough

enough for that and more than enough oh you pretty fool what have you gotten yourself into?

it might not be that it could have been anything anything any two words in any language and you came up with that it couldn’t can’t be that he said he didn’t couldn’t wouldn’t not with you not allow himself to be caged

but you argued so well against him told him we don’t always know when we let people in did you know with Julian when did you know how long did you hold out admitting

this is nothing like that nothing at all because I don’t love him and that

doesn’t matter because it seems he

don’t say it

loves

don’t you say it don’t you dare say it

you

She drops to her knees, clutching her head in her hands.

"I told you not to say it. I told you."

It doesn't seem that anybody's listening anymore. Least of all herself.